Untethered
8/12/2023
I had to bribe myself to leave the house today. It didn't take much - just the promise of an iced vanilla latte. But it was enough to motivate me to get dressed and leave the house for an hour. I guess you could call me a homebody, but not your run-of-the-mill type of homebody. I'm more of an Olympic-level type homebody, if there were such a thing. I've always been a bit of a homebody. But ever since the prolonged stay-at-home Covid isolation period a few years ago - I think I've earned platinum level Homebody status.
My Old Life
I used to be normal. When my son was in elementary school, I was on the PTA board and I regularly volunteered in his classroom. When he was in middle school, I was a Tennis mom. And when he was in high school I was a Band mom. I was also active in Boy Scout leadership for the 11 years he was a Scout. My husband and I were often social with other parents - Tennis parents, Band parents, Scout parents. So basically our lives centered around our son. But I was happy with that. We both enjoyed being active and engaged with whatever activity he was participating in at the time.
(Perhaps that is why he moved over 1000 miles away to college. Hmmm... food for thought.)
Which is partly why I'm struggling so much now that I'm an empty nester. My activity center, my social center, my center is now gone. And I'm left floating. Not in a pleasant dreamy lightweight sort of floating. More in a helium-balloon-accidently-released-into-the-sky kind of floating. Unmoored. Untethered.
My New Life
So how can I embrace this untethered-ness? I'm trying new things. I learned Pickleball for the first time this Spring. But with 30 plus days of over 100 degrees in Texas, I've taken a temporary hiatus from the game. I took a pole dancing class - and somehow managed to sprain my thumb, which is still recovering several weeks later. I've taken online painting classes. I've started pet sitting. I started this blog.
But I still haven't found my groove yet. I know I will never have the same sense of purpose as I once did. Being a parent is one of the hardest, challenging and yet also the most rewarding jobs I've ever had. And I will always be a parent. But now I'm a parent to an adult who no longer relies on me for everyday guidance, and support.
I was a full-time parent for 18+ years. So I suppose taking a few years to find myself again shouldn't come as a surprise. And so, here I am.
An untethered, struggling, floating..... Homebody.
