Saying Goodbye

I’ve been having a rough time lately. About 6 weeks ago, we had to put our sweet beloved 14 year old dog to sleep. I knew that she was getting up there in age – she had lost her hearing, had arthritis in her hind legs and had slowed down quite a bit over the last year. But she still was happy to see me every time I came home. She loved to snuggle in bed when I was feeling down. And her most favorite place in the world was sitting between my husband and I on the couch, with her head in my lap, while we watched Netflix. So when she stopped eating, could no longer hold herself up to go potty, and seemed to lose interest in life, we knew it was time.

It has been a struggle since then. The first week it took a while to get used to the fact that she was no longer in our day-to-day life. I would find myself expecting to see her throughout the day, having temporarily forgotten that she was now gone. It was second nature to look for her whenever I arrived home to greet her. Or when it was time to Netflix and chill. Or when I was headed outside and knew that she would want to follow me. At first it felt temporary, like she was at the groomer or the vet and would be back later that day. But as the days passed I knew that this was my new normal.

Not everyone understands the special love between a pet and their owner. It is a unique bond that is unlike any other. Our pets are always happy to see us no matter what. We might be upset with them for making a mess, chewing on a piece of furniture, or having an accident - yet they still look at us with their sweet eyes filled with unconditional love and affection.

Since we had to put our sweet kitty down last November and now our dog too, the house is much emptier and lonelier without our furry companions. It is just my husband and I in the house. We are now truly empty nesters. Just he and I sitting in the nest by ourselves - looking at each other like, "what now?".

I am still adjusting to this new pet-less lifestyle. Yes, it allows us to travel much easier and be more spontaneous. But it comes at a cost. The price of losing a loved one who occupied such a huge space in my heart.

It's been 6 weeks since we lost our pup. It hurts a little less, the wound is not as raw and fresh, but it still feels tender to the touch. I still miss her terribly and can cry at the drop of a hat when I think of her soft fuzzy belly, smelly old breath, and knowing wise eyes. But I try to focus on the good times we had together and know that I was lucky to be her "person" for the time that she had on this earth.